Dandyism.net now has an officially unofficial armorial achievement, commonly referred to as a “coat-of-arms”—you can read about the all tedious distinctions and exact terminology for yourself here if you are so inclined.
Why “officially unofficial?” Because, as noble as D.net is, it has not petitioned, nor will it likely ever be granted, a patent from either the College of Arms of England or the Court of the Lord Lyon in Scotland. In these countries flashing the D.net achievement may put you at risk of getting the equivalent of a parking ticket from the heraldry police. Fair warning.
Never mind. We’re Americans—or at least three-quarters of the D.net Junta are—and are therefore free to append any image, tagline, motto, brandmark or what-have-you to our website that we choose.
Regardless of the legal niceties, the achievement, designed by redoubtable D.net contributor, heraldry buff, sartorial entrepreneur and style blogger, Bill Thompson, follows all the rules pertinent to the art and science of heraldry. The blazon, the written description that is the heart of any armorial achievement, reads as follows:
Gules, a coney Ermine saltant, an otter Ermines rampant contourné victualled Or, a chief wavy of the last guttèe du vin, a gillyflower Vert. Crest, an antique Eastern crown, a peacock close Proper. Mantled the first and Argent. Motto: “Chaque homme un roi.”
Within all this seemingly Harry Potter-esque lingo resides sound reasoning for each charge. The coney, or bunny rabbit, is sometimes a prankster but otherwise lives a quiet and peaceable life, while the otter is dining out (“victualled”) and living life to the fullest. Both are tinctured in luxuriant fur—ermine, once reserved only for royalty. The wavy partition connotes flânerie, while the chief, or field above, is “scattered with drops of claret.” The “gillyflower vert” is as close an approximation of Oscar Wilde’s green carnation as the ancient rules of heraldry will allow. The peacock peeking out of the crown speaks for itself. What could be more dandiacal?
The motto, chaque homme un roi, roughly translates to “every man a king,” and harkens back to the life of Beau Brummell. (In case you’re worried, faithful myrmidons, our new motto may be chaque homme un roi but our venerable tagline remains “insufferably bored since 1802.”)
It occurs to us that our coney, our otter and our peacock will want names of their own. Have any ideas? Leave them in the comments. If we choose one or more of your names we’ll send you a D.net armorial achievement-themed keepsake.
In recognition of Mr. Thompson’s exemplary service to Dandyism.net, the Junta is pleased to announce his elevation from faithful myrmidon to the august position of Minister of Protocol and Pursuivant of Arms, with all the rights and privileges thereunto.
And that’s official.